Self-care When Far From Home In A Time Of Strife

Last Sunday I made a list of people I have not spoken to in a while. Some of them are people who have been there for me at my lowest others recognized what I was trying to achieve creatively and inspired me when no one else did. They are not blood relatives but have at those times when I needed them, been just as important or even more so. One thing they have in common is they are all in Zimbabwe and living through this crazy time that I am seeing mostly via social media. I left Zimbabwe and settled in South Africa a few years ago seeking a new start and to make a better life for my family.

 

With my friends we went through what we thought was the worst of Zimbabwe in between 2003 and 2008. By the beginning of 2009 we were broke after being wiped out by an unforgiving economy and really wanted to believe that it was over, that we had another chance at a normal life in Zimbabwe like in other developing countries. We all know now this did not happen.

 

Zimbabwe today is going through, as the kids say, the most! My home country is seeing untold upheaval as people from all walks of life increasingly speak out their frustrations at how the government has failed them. The government is finding it increasingly difficult to control a restless population with propaganda and intimidation.

 

For many like me who spend much of our time and get most of our information on the situation from social media, it is easy to slip into an almost constant crisis mode. We can forget that life must go on, that people need to unplug from the outrage to make a living, catch a game, a drink or a moment with friends, take the kids to school or even just change the TV channel. We can forget that before anything else, we are people and as such, seek out emotional support from each other. This is why I made the list on Sunday morning.

 

There were six names on the list, two of them literally saved my life but I had not contacted in over six months. Another has inspired me as she has built a new life for her family after a major personal crisis that would likely have broken just about anybody else. Another I met on social media, he is building a business that’s gained him a lot of attention, some of which I am sure he could do without. He is also a father to a young child and a husband much like me.

 

I asked them how they were, I asked about their families, we gossiped about our spouses and shared stories about how we are secretly terrified of our kids. We did not talk about the politics or the economics. We did not talk of the corruption or the violence. We did not talk of the propaganda or the protests. We laughed together at how we had disappeared on each other but were grateful we could pick up where we left off and promised to stay in better contact going forward. We just reconnected, as people, the next day we went back to adulting as normal.

 

A random call or message from the right person when all life seems chaotic can be incredibly empowering, even if it’s just to talk about absolutely nothing to do with your challenges. Zimbabwe can depress you wether you’re there or far from home. Worrying about what role you can and should play in this fast developing situation can keep you up nights and the self-doubt can have you retreating from engaging with others. Sometimes you feel like you are just fighting air because you don’t know if the little you are doing is even making a difference. That is when you know you need to unplug from the situation, even for a little while.

 

Pick up the phone and call a friend you have not spoken to for a while. Cook a meal and share it with somebody. Go for a long walk around your neighborhood and strike up a conversation with a neighbor. Go on that date you keep postponing because you just need to get those tweets out. Do something good for somebody in your community who totally didn’t expect it and don’t tell anyone.

 

Simply reconnect with people near or far, they will give you life.

 

 

 

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